This is a blog to review generic foodstuffs. This is because I am a recently-graduated lab animal who spends most of her money on student loans and stupid costume stuff, and as a result I am quite poor.
Over time, I have found that some generic products are made with love and care and magic leprechaun dust, and that others are made with ass and hobo pee. I'll attempt to separate the delicious wheat from the god-awful chaff.
For my first post, I'm going to start with something sweet. I have a *serious* sweet tooth, but I try to limit myself to cookies with lunch. As a result, if my three-cookies-a-day taste like cardboard, I am very sad and grouchy.
The Good:
Market Pantry Animal Cookies (With Pink and White Fudge) (Target): Despite the overly-complicated name, these cookies are delicious. They taste exactly like the Keebler brand, and they also come in two sizes- a tiny box, and a big-ass barrel. (Hard to guess which one I go for, ain't it?) Let's face it- when you throw fudge and sprinkles into the equation, it's hard to screw it up. They're a little more expensive than the other cookies on this list, but in my opinion, they're worth it.
The Bad:
Market Pantry Chocolate Chip Cookies (chewy) (Target): I grabbed these the other day, thinking it was impossible to screw up chocolate chip cookies. I have the all cooking skills of a crippled monkey, and even I can turn out a decent batch of chocolate chip cookies. Apparently Target found a way to make chocolate chip cookies so bad, they're actually banned under the Geneva convention. As boyfriend put it: "Mmm, made with real chocolate- and real foam!"
The Decent:
Market Pantry Chocolate Sandwich Cookies (double creme filled) (Target): A.k.a "They're totally not Oreo's, you guys, please don't sue us!", these cookies are actually pretty good, and damn cheap, too. My only gripe with these cookies is that the chocolate "sandwich" part is a little too hard, and doesn't have quite the same taste and crunch as an Oreo. They taste pretty close to an Oreo, but it's pretty obvious on their own that these cookies aren't Oreo's. If you crumbled them up and used them in a shake or a mud cup or something, though, I doubt that anybody could tell.
Anything you want me to review? Tell me in the comments :)
Hey Nixie! This is awesome. You know what's dangerous? Generic pop-tarts and generic Triscuits. Less dangerous than soilent Most Dangerous Game, but still dangerous.
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